Friday, January 30, 2009

Disney, my side of the story part 2

It's a long post. Make sure you have time to read it. Get a snack or something.

OK, so I got handily reamed by Persnickety on my last post for saying she didn't like purple. She apparently forgets using the word "fugly" in the same sentence as "purple" and "crocs", which gave me the impression that she didn't like purple. Woops. My mistake. That whole parental adage of "assume" making things out of 'u' and 'me' comes to mind. You'd think after knowing each other off and on for the last um...ACK! - EIGHTEEN or so years, we would have figured out that whole color preference thing. I can be 100% certain she likes black, as long as it's not something necrotic.
Now, back to the Disney tour. Because that's what you came her to get right? I left you at the rest stop, as I channeled old movies and regurgitated comedic routines. Relieved of my burden, I hightailed myself back to her warm mom-bus, and we continued on our way. I was told a story of Persnickety's past that essentially made her a very strong individual. I'd heard the story before, but this time there were additional snippets I wasn't privy to previously. It made me want to cry, and I kind of felt guilty for landing a guy that while has a-hole tendencies, overall is not one I can drop on the curb like Tuesday's garbage. She finished the story as we got into Orlando, and conversation moved on to Random Disney Trivia. She's a plethora of trivia, and handy to have when playing those kind of games.
We got to the parking entrance, paid a handsome fee for the mom-bus to languish all day, and circled the handiflapped parking a couple times looking for a decent place to park. I suck as a navigator, plain and simple. Sometimes I am dead-on with directions, and other times, I just need to be whapped upside the head. It took us a few minutes to get out of the van and get our snackage moved to a smaller lighter bag than the huge one Devildog handed me. Beast had my smaller one, because Devildog was not about to let that boy use his big bag. We finally made our way over to the ticket center, where I was given a nifty little button to wear. We got on the Monorail and at the gate to the Magic Kingdom, she rented what she calls a "fart cart" and we proceeded on to our adventures.

Everywhere I went, park employees were saying "Happy Birthday" to me. However, as the day wore on, everyone was worn thin, so the greetings waned. Persnickety usually went to the right, starting with TomorrowLand, and never got around to Adventureland by day's end, so we went to the left. The Tiki Room proved that my camera settings sucked as much as my navigator skills. We rode the Adventureland Rides, and moved to Frontierland. We rode Splash Mountain, got a picture of the two of us on the ride, and went on to find something for me to eat because by that hour, my blood sugar was digging a hole to China. I hadn't eaten anything decent since the french toast at Persnickety's house. Snackage only goes so far when you have a metabolism like a teenager's. It was bad. We found the famous Turkey Legs and I had to take a while to recover. We moved on to Liberty Square since we couldn't get a straight answer about Tom Sawyer's Island, and the afternoon parade was going to start soon. We parked ourselves in a sunny location, which made it inconducive to taking pictures of the parade because I chose the wrong side of the street. The Hall of Presidents was closed, probably to make the necessary adjustments for the most recent presidental addition. On to The Haunted Mansion, with the stretching room, and other spooky stuff. Then we went to Fantasyland for It's a Small world, because you MUST ride that if you visit the Magic Kingdom. We went to the Mad Tea Party, and my gut instinct said "stay away!" but I ignored it in favor of entertaining my friend.

She was thoroughly entertained at the fact that I was instantly motion-sick, complete with my face turning all shades of purple and red, and the vein in my forehead ready to burst through my face. We exited and I said "I HAVE TO SIT DOWN" I never did fully recover the rest of the day. It was bad. I wasn't much fun after that. The evil crispy chewy sugary goodness of Funnel Cakes called me loudly for some reason. There are few places to get funnel cakes, even though there are funnel cake kits in the grocery stores and stuff. Not having to work for it, makes it that much better though. We skipped Mickey's Toontown
Fair since it was getting late. On to Tomorrowland, where I was unable to fully enjoy that part of the park because those Tea Cups did me in big time. Meanwhile Persnickety was getting cold and we were then in search of something to cover her legs. Capris don't do the job when temperatures are dipping back into the 30's.

Tomorrowland Transit Authority took us through all the rides in slower motion The Carousel of (no) Progress was our next stop, where two kind schmuckatellis in our section exited the ride just AS the ride started moving. This prompted a 5 minute wait for them to completely reset the ride. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that. We did Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, where I scored 800,000+ points shooting at the neon Z's. Yes, I took aim, and I took that ride seriously. I didn't want to ride Stitch's Great Escape, as I was warned it was annoying with stuff breathing and spitting on you. I have teenagers that can do that for free at home. Since it was nearly closing time, we rode Space Mountain. I barely tolerated that because I was still reeling from the Tea Cups. Yes, that was several hours ago, I don't recover quickly from motion sickness. Yes, I'm a wimp and barely tolerate the Disney rides, I am everyone's bag holder in other places like Busch Gardens. We missed the Monsters Inc show. Maybe we should've skipped Space Mountain. We got a park employee to take our picture in front of the castle, and wandered down Main Street USA. We caught most of the fireworks show and ran to the monorail station to get outta there before the onslaught of exiting park guests.

Persnickety nearly killed herself doing that, and I was worried that EMS was going to be needed. I envisioned packing her off to the ER in an ambulance, then driving her mom-bus back home and handing the keys to FCB saying "um, sorry. Here's the keys, she's in a hospital in Orlando, I have to get home to my kids." We survived that, then started driving home. I listened to a mommy-melting voicemail from my Clone wishing me a Happy Birthday. This is the same child that was ROYALLY ticked that I was going to Disney without her. Bad food at a Wendy's that fries everything in the same oil as the fish gets cooked really made the night. ::SHUDDER:: Then the bobbing and weaving of the interstate system through Orlando sealed the deal. I got sick on the way home. Persnickety moved off the road fast, and thankfully there was an empty bowl to catch the yuck. I felt better after that but still really BLEH. Plus it was cold. I got home, took a shower, and went to bed after posting a brief blog. I had to work the next day and just turning corners had me reeling.

See, I told you it was a long post. So there's my story of my wimpy reactions to things at Disney. There's more, but it's been a week and a half, and I recover slowly, but my brain misplaces stuff easily. It's my story and I'm sticking to it. Persnickety the Overachiever is just ITCHING to tell her side. She hasn't said this to me, I just know she is though.
I learned the following about her on this trip:
-she's a fortress
-she has a weakness for the evol funnel cake
-she has a big adventurous streak that out-adventures anything I dare do
-she is a Disney freak, complete with that trivia plethora
-she can run for her life, even if it kills her


Persnickety Ticker said...

"Look at that fat chick haul ass! Who knew she could move that fast!"

Jackie said...

I love funnel cake and never knew Disney sold it! Sounds like a great time...except for that yuck part. :)

MrsSoersdal said...

LOL. I LOOOVED space ranger spin the last time I went. Bug and I wanted to go over and over and over and over again but my nieces wanted to go do something girly and since they were coming from overseas, they took precedence. *sigh* Luck of all luck, Giggles and I share a birthday so on our birthdays, we're all four of us going and only paying for 2. Space ranger spin, here I come!

Anonymous said...

You have been Tagged by Tracy

tinkguy said...

Your Disney posts were Magical! It makes me want to rush right down to Orlando and get sick on pixie dust! Maybe next week...