Disney, my side of the story part 2

It's a long post. Make sure you have time to read it. Get a snack or something.

OK, so I got handily reamed by Persnickety on my last post for saying she didn't like purple. She apparently forgets using the word "fugly" in the same sentence as "purple" and "crocs", which gave me the impression that she didn't like purple. Woops. My mistake. That whole parental adage of "assume" making things out of 'u' and 'me' comes to mind. You'd think after knowing each other off and on for the last um...ACK! - EIGHTEEN or so years, we would have figured out that whole color preference thing. I can be 100% certain she likes black, as long as it's not something necrotic.
Now, back to the Disney tour. Because that's what you came her to get right? I left you at the rest stop, as I channeled old movies and regurgitated comedic routines. Relieved of my burden, I hightailed myself back to her warm mom-bus, and we continued on our way. I was told a story of Persnickety's past that essentially made her a very strong individual. I'd heard the story before, but this time there were additional snippets I wasn't privy to previously. It made me want to cry, and I kind of felt guilty for landing a guy that while has a-hole tendencies, overall is not one I can drop on the curb like Tuesday's garbage. She finished the story as we got into Orlando, and conversation moved on to Random Disney Trivia. She's a plethora of trivia, and handy to have when playing those kind of games.
We got to the parking entrance, paid a handsome fee for the mom-bus to languish all day, and circled the handiflapped parking a couple times looking for a decent place to park. I suck as a navigator, plain and simple. Sometimes I am dead-on with directions, and other times, I just need to be whapped upside the head. It took us a few minutes to get out of the van and get our snackage moved to a smaller lighter bag than the huge one Devildog handed me. Beast had my smaller one, because Devildog was not about to let that boy use his big bag. We finally made our way over to the ticket center, where I was given a nifty little button to wear. We got on the Monorail and at the gate to the Magic Kingdom, she rented what she calls a "fart cart" and we proceeded on to our adventures.

Everywhere I went, park employees were saying "Happy Birthday" to me. However, as the day wore on, everyone was worn thin, so the greetings waned. Persnickety usually went to the right, starting with TomorrowLand, and never got around to Adventureland by day's end, so we went to the left. The Tiki Room proved that my camera settings sucked as much as my navigator skills. We rode the Adventureland Rides, and moved to Frontierland. We rode Splash Mountain, got a picture of the two of us on the ride, and went on to find something for me to eat because by that hour, my blood sugar was digging a hole to China. I hadn't eaten anything decent since the french toast at Persnickety's house. Snackage only goes so far when you have a metabolism like a teenager's. It was bad. We found the famous Turkey Legs and I had to take a while to recover. We moved on to Liberty Square since we couldn't get a straight answer about Tom Sawyer's Island, and the afternoon parade was going to start soon. We parked ourselves in a sunny location, which made it inconducive to taking pictures of the parade because I chose the wrong side of the street. The Hall of Presidents was closed, probably to make the necessary adjustments for the most recent presidental addition. On to The Haunted Mansion, with the stretching room, and other spooky stuff. Then we went to Fantasyland for It's a Small world, because you MUST ride that if you visit the Magic Kingdom. We went to the Mad Tea Party, and my gut instinct said "stay away!" but I ignored it in favor of entertaining my friend.

She was thoroughly entertained at the fact that I was instantly motion-sick, complete with my face turning all shades of purple and red, and the vein in my forehead ready to burst through my face. We exited and I said "I HAVE TO SIT DOWN" I never did fully recover the rest of the day. It was bad. I wasn't much fun after that. The evil crispy chewy sugary goodness of Funnel Cakes called me loudly for some reason. There are few places to get funnel cakes, even though there are funnel cake kits in the grocery stores and stuff. Not having to work for it, makes it that much better though. We skipped Mickey's Toontown
Fair since it was getting late. On to Tomorrowland, where I was unable to fully enjoy that part of the park because those Tea Cups did me in big time. Meanwhile Persnickety was getting cold and we were then in search of something to cover her legs. Capris don't do the job when temperatures are dipping back into the 30's.

Tomorrowland Transit Authority took us through all the rides in slower motion The Carousel of (no) Progress was our next stop, where two kind schmuckatellis in our section exited the ride just AS the ride started moving. This prompted a 5 minute wait for them to completely reset the ride. I'm sure everyone enjoyed that. We did Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, where I scored 800,000+ points shooting at the neon Z's. Yes, I took aim, and I took that ride seriously. I didn't want to ride Stitch's Great Escape, as I was warned it was annoying with stuff breathing and spitting on you. I have teenagers that can do that for free at home. Since it was nearly closing time, we rode Space Mountain. I barely tolerated that because I was still reeling from the Tea Cups. Yes, that was several hours ago, I don't recover quickly from motion sickness. Yes, I'm a wimp and barely tolerate the Disney rides, I am everyone's bag holder in other places like Busch Gardens. We missed the Monsters Inc show. Maybe we should've skipped Space Mountain. We got a park employee to take our picture in front of the castle, and wandered down Main Street USA. We caught most of the fireworks show and ran to the monorail station to get outta there before the onslaught of exiting park guests.

Persnickety nearly killed herself doing that, and I was worried that EMS was going to be needed. I envisioned packing her off to the ER in an ambulance, then driving her mom-bus back home and handing the keys to FCB saying "um, sorry. Here's the keys, she's in a hospital in Orlando, I have to get home to my kids." We survived that, then started driving home. I listened to a mommy-melting voicemail from my Clone wishing me a Happy Birthday. This is the same child that was ROYALLY ticked that I was going to Disney without her. Bad food at a Wendy's that fries everything in the same oil as the fish gets cooked really made the night. ::SHUDDER:: Then the bobbing and weaving of the interstate system through Orlando sealed the deal. I got sick on the way home. Persnickety moved off the road fast, and thankfully there was an empty bowl to catch the yuck. I felt better after that but still really BLEH. Plus it was cold. I got home, took a shower, and went to bed after posting a brief blog. I had to work the next day and just turning corners had me reeling.

See, I told you it was a long post. So there's my story of my wimpy reactions to things at Disney. There's more, but it's been a week and a half, and I recover slowly, but my brain misplaces stuff easily. It's my story and I'm sticking to it. Persnickety the Overachiever is just ITCHING to tell her side. She hasn't said this to me, I just know she is though.
I learned the following about her on this trip:
-she's a fortress
-she has a weakness for the evol funnel cake
-she has a big adventurous streak that out-adventures anything I dare do
-she is a Disney freak, complete with that trivia plethora
-she can run for her life, even if it kills her

Disney, my side of the story

Persnickety and I went to Disney for my birthday. It was not the ideal we expected, but it was fun nonetheless. We left the spawn at home, and it was a grownup Disney Day for us.

We got a late start. Typical, and we love to annoy ourselves with this trait. It's one of the many ways we just "get" each other's quirks, and cast no judgment for it. No sense in pointing a finger at someone when the finger pointer has the same issue.
We wore Crocs, of lovely purple shades. OK, so I kind of like purple, but Persnickety does not. I guess I've gotten girly in my old age. We planned to take photographic note of all the Crocs we saw on feet at the park. It got nixed in favor of me keeping my gloved hands warm in my jacket pockets, while Persnickety steered the fart cart. I'm not going anywhere fast (or slow for that matter) with this story am I?

Perhaps I should break up the trip into segments. That way you can get manageable bits of the story and Persnickety can stop harassing me to post the story so she can get to telling her side. I'm sure it's all blogged out and ready to go. Overacheiver.

OK, so I had a heavy (literally) workload the same week my birthday falls on a Wednesday in the year Disney gives birthday guests free admission. The company I work for had us removing racks in the stores, so it was NOT a simple normal service call that I can get done in a day, plus the shipments arrived on Monday, delaying my start. So I was literally huffing and puffing Tuesday to get my work done in two stores so I could rest and recover on Thursday from the Disney trip. Needless to say, by the time I got done with everything at work, got home, tended the typical daily stuff, and got myself ready for travel and bed, it was 2 in the morning. I was told to be at Persnickety's house by 6. Uh. Yeah. I was tired, hit the snooze, got there a full 45 minutes late, when we should have been leaving her house. She made breakfast for me, because well...she loves me like a sister like that and it's well known traveling is better with a good breafast to start the trip. Her coffee measurements were wonky and so was the resulting coffee. I didn't complain, I've had worse believe it or not. Then Punk was being readied for school, but there was a meltdown. We finally got out the door after the Punk was on the bus. Two hours late. When we should have been well over halfway to Disney. It's very clear that I do not move fast when it's 35 degrees outside. Since it was so late we attempted to stop at the Crocs outlet store on the way, but waiting another 40 minutes for them to open was simply NOT an option.

I did mention that it was cold. I had coffee. My bladder is not as ironclad as Punk's. I would have settled for a gas station. Persnickety prefers to stop at a state sanctioned rest area. The particular one we visited has an open top to the bathroom, for ventilation. It's useless in the summertime and heinously cold when it's wintery here. I was afraid of skin freezing to the seat. I chose the handicapped stall because it wasn't below that open roof, and hopefully half a degree less cold than the other ones. I lined the seat with TP and held onto the handrails. Then I channeled Larry the Cable Guy....."The handicapped stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stools" ran through my mind while I tried to avoid freezing my backside to a rest stop toilet seat. My bladder was so full, I was also reminded of a certain scene involving a drunken Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own.
Road trips leave me sitting too long, and the physical inactivity sends my brain into overdrive and we end up with some A.D.D. laden plethora of comedic regurgitation and old movie references.
I'd gladly post more, but this is long enough for one sitting and I have two teenage boys that have successfully annoyed me. I love witching hour don't you? That's my side of the story, and I'm sticking to it. More later on my Disney Adventure with Persnickety as my tour guide.