Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Oh would you just get off the girl!

I awoke this Tuesday morning to news that reaffirms why I don't watch the news, or listen to it, unless someone tells me there's excessively tropical weather nearby. However, the alarm clock is set so the radio comes on before the obnoxious beeping. I hit the snooze less often that way. Then I get up and alllll over the news is blabbety blabbety about how a candidate's teenage daughter is pregnant........aaaannnndddd? This is your big news story? It's DRIVEL for criminy's sake! Girls younger than that get pregnant all the time, and there are no cameras in their faces. Well, there were cameras eyeballing Jamie Lyn Spears, but it's probably because the rag mags were tipped off by "reliable sources" close to the teen. Are the members of the media in other parents' faces asking, asking "where was this child's mother?" Oh well I can assure you where she was NOT - and speaking from experience, she was not wherever that baby was made. I have pulled some stunts in my life, and I will not disclose them here, but only to those I know, and generally fair amounts of alcohol are involved for me to tell them. My parents gave me the foundation and I was taught probably the same things this candidate's daughter was taught. My parents RIGHTFULLY trusted me, because I had not done much to prove them wrong about their trust for me. It's entirely possible this was a similar scenario with this teen of new notoriety. Well then along comes puberty and makes a girl a little grown up and a boy a little grown up and well lookie here....they do some grown up stuff. Oh look, that's not a new and noteworthy story either. What on earth makes it acceptable to cast judgment on a young man and woman who are willing to take the RESPONSIBILITY for the child they created?? She's going through with the pregnancy, like so many others do on a regular basis. He's not like most every Junior Schmuckatelli and saying "dat ain't mah babeh" and being splayed all over Maury and the like with a paternity test to prove where he'd been stirring his Kool-aid.
I'm speaking from personal experience that I still carry on my heart to this day. Do not judge this girl and her child's father (go see Matthew Ch 7 in case someone wants to just entertain a Biblical reference for poops n giggles). I knew the odds were stacked against me like a surfer's chance of staying dry in a crashing wave. I knew there was lack of sleep, and difficulty finishing high school, and getting a job to be able to care for my child, and not being able to earn as much because I didn't go to college, and the risks to my child's well being long term because I was a young, financially ill-prepared teenage mother.
I had an advantage that so many other girls like me lacked. I was raised with a moral backbone, and I was not left to fend for myself 100%, I was aided by my child's father, my family and my child's father's family. My child's father WANTED to be there, and he was. My family was angry with me and hurt by the circumstances, but they helped me - provided I was going to school and working. I did get some assistance, but I certainly was not getting a check to pay my rent and bills and sit around doing nothing. I worked and I went to school while someone else cared for my child. My child's father ended up enlisting in the Marine Corps because he wanted to make sure his child was not going to lack basic needs being met.

We did a grownup thing, we got caught in a grownup circumstance, we did the grownup thing and made it work. We didn't throw in the towel and walk away from a responsibility we created. But along the way, so many others were so willing to make an attempt to remind us of what we did wrong, and expected us to fail. Those individuals are STILL amazed that 16 years later, we're still together and we haven't completely failed. We're not perfect, never will be, but you're not going to catch me casting judgment on a young girl and her boyfriend because they are going to have a child together. Save the judgment for when it's truly due - as in when you're looking at your own screwups and realizing just how much an impact they had on yourself and those around you.
The opposing party's candidate was born TO a teenage mother in case anyone wasn't paying attention. Plus that other candidate plainly said "kids are off limits" in the campaign arena. However AFTER their parent is elected and they drive drunk, then the kids brought that crap on themselves.
Till then, just get off the girl. She's a rare one, and you'll not find many like her. She's not running for an office anyway, she's ineligible. Let her stumble into adulthood with some semblance of dignity. She just might surprise you.


Anonymous said...

"Judge not lest ye be judged" (don't remember where I heard it, but it applies) I agree with everything you said! I am going to 'write' my own blog entry about this! Thank you for blog 'fodder' for me for the day! AMEN SISTER!

** miss shannon ** said...

Well said my dear... It sounds like this girl and the bf have a good head on their shoulders and should be applauded for taking responsibility for their actions... I hope they get to see your kudos for them and that not everyone is against them... I don't actually know the story but I'm tired of hearing about the so-called "skeletons" in the closets of celebrities or anyone associated with a celebrity, and I wish the news would just let them all alone, it's none of their's or our damn business...

tinkguy said...

#1: I agree. Loved the tirade. I tired of the media's grasping for straws. I want to sit and knit with you soon so you can gnaw my ear off.

That said...

It may have been the media trying to stir up the right-wing "Family Values" crowd, trying to find anything that would make the far right cringe.

But, perhaps the flood of stories only brought empathy from the left for Palin. Don't know. Don't much care.

Did like the blog entry, though.

MrsSoersdal said...

Agreed. Completely. I think it's completely stupid to judge the girl for getting pregnant or the mother for not having stopped it somehow. Parents of girls who don't get pregnant are LUCKY, not child-rearing geniuses.

That said, I understand why people are ticked about it. Pallin has spoken out against abortion, welfare for single mothers, and for abstinence-only education. Now her daughter's pregnant it's just oh-so-simple that the girl's going to get married and will have support from her family. Great that Bristol has all that. More power to her, but Pallin has power and may be gaining power to remove alternatives from girls who don't have those options available to them. It's naturally created a bit of resentment, I think.

Heather said...
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