Tuesday, November 4, 2008

All In a Day's Adventures, Right?

First an apology to those that attempted to catch this blog late last night as it got posted in the feeders. I didn't like how it formatted and pulled it to correct that deficiency and the other errors that I find unacceptable. I'm not an idiot and dislike accidentally portraying myself as one. I much prefer to come across as possessing reasonable intelligence, and not as yet another blathering imbecile.

Plus I'm getting reports that my readers are unable to comment on the blog. Which explains a lot. Maybe I edited it too many times?

Now, back to your irregularly unscheduled yammering of Yours Truly. Adventures indeed, sir.

I have been known to take my camera with me when I go to work, simply because I may need it for a photgraphic report for my boss. Some things, I wouldn't convince anyone was true unless I produced such evidence for their examination. I might crop some pictures or do some tinkering to remove red eye, but a photo-alter-er I am not. I haven't acquired enough knowledge to make that many changes to a picture. So, if I took the picture, it's the real thing. I have had to resort to using my camera phone because certain pictures would have been blatantly obvious and I really don't want to be treated like the paparazzi types. If I'm going to be run out of town, I want the reason to be worthwhile. I took a sociology class in my brief post-secondary adventures, and discovered that I love finding quirks of humanity. Or, rather, it seems they like to find me.

I have a job that takes me to a certain brand of home improvement store that shall remain nameless. In my 5-ish years of doing this job, I've encountered some very interesting stuff.
Like this bloke who either was too cheap to buy new boots, or simply lacked the additional funds to do so:

Yes, the sap is wearing work boots with duct tape wrapped around them. Forgive the quality as it's a low end phone, that meets a basic need with a couple extra features. And yes that's my finger in the way...I was trying to hurry because I thought he was getting suspicious of me. Rightfully so, but still...

Now this guy...I just don't know. It has a potential for several possibilities. He's the kind of guy who likes guys, he's the kind of guy who is a wimp and lets his girl dress him, or he's just a total oaf and shops at Abercrombie and got the shirt because some hot chick working there told him he was sexy in a bright, punk-A pink shirt. I lacked the cajones to go ask him, plus I was working. It wouldn't have reflected well on me, or either company in this situation.

Which leads me to this picture, which I think was the one that started the whole riot. I did crop the bottom to remove the license plate information...because, again, my synapses aren't firing correctly for my brain to digest the knowledge and put it to use.

I will pause a minute and let you digest the content.

Seriously. It probably is precisely what you think it is.
I'll tell you the back story on this one. I was about to go into the one store I service that has no signal inside whatsoever. However, on the drive there, I was talking to my boss on the phone. So I sat in my mom-bus while we finished our conversation. I saw this couple loading their purchases in the back of their SUV. They futzed with this roll of vinyl sheet flooring, trying to get it in the truck. The liftgate all the way up was not working well, the flooring would have fallen out of the vehicle on the drive home. So lucky for them, this vehicle is equipped with a two part liftgate. They opened the glass and rested the flooring on the back of the seat. Since it hung out the window, they needed some sort of "safety" warning for morons drivers behind them. I saw the woman go to the back driver side door and dig around in what I assume is a bag, laundry basket, or floorboard and come back with something red. The guy stretched it over the end of the flooring, they got in the SUV and left. Thankfully my camera was between the seats so I could move fast and get this shot. The boss didn't believe me, and told me to send it to her.

That shot later led me to catch this one, while on Interstate 95 South, on the way back from South Carolina. Maybe we'd gotten into Georgia by this point. I don't remember. I just remember the utter disbelief of this sight. Feel free to click on the picture, zoom in on things and such.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, that is a WASHING MACHINE atop a Suburban. And it's on the interstate, keeping the speed limit...or something close to it. Everyone in the mom-bus was zonked out, so I was trying to take the picture without being a tourist about it. Which now makes me think we were in Georgia for everyone to be so tired that they couldn't help me catch this bit of blog fodder. They always leave me hanging on the return trip to drive solo through Georgia with no company. Either that or the kids are usually at war back there.

Anyway, I now give you this gem, taken locally, as I was leaving a service call at one of my stores. This is a Lexus, with a sunroof. If I recall correctly, I think this was a vertical blind purchase, ill conceived to be taken home in a sedan poorly equipped for such cargo.
The poetic humor of it all too, that it's a white car with a white object sticking out of of the sunroof, while all the other cars at the stoplight were dark colors. It's like it pointed itself out to me saying, "look! idiocy in action!" It very well could have been "OH! the utter INDIGNITY of this! I am a LEXUS for the love of all things luxury, why on earth am I being used to tote such, such...insult to my quality?? Did you see where they bought this? It's enough to make me break down en route home!"

It makes me think I should start a regular feature on my blog, and call it something catchy. I find the funniest stuff while driving and working.

1 comment:

Sunny Yukon said...

As much as I have been trying to reduce the use of plastic at home and at work, I'll keep with the red plastic flags to tack on the lumber for now. My panties will stay right where they belong. I do just fine getting guys to come to my lumber yard without having to resort to more desperate measures.

I do hope they were from the clean basket.

Duct tape for the boots? Well, if WD40 won't work, then duct tape should, right?