Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Idiot Clause

I have been finding blog fodder cropping up in the mornings here lately. Today was prime example. Everyone in my household drinks coffee, and we use plenty of creamer. I stopped to get more creamer yesterday after work. I almost got the small plastic bottle of 32 ounces for $2.50 when I discovered 3 shelves down and to the left, this nice big 64 ounce carton for $3.99. No need to explain ALLLL the bonus points for that one...ok I will. To buy two plastic bottles derived from petroleum = $5, plus 2 bottles sent to recycling and it's ultimately a dollar more expensive, unless you use that $.55 coupon in that handy dispenser then it's only $.45 more for the same amount of liquid inside the container. Plus I would have only bought ONE at that point, and would have had to return in a few days to get more = using more ga$$$$ also derived from petroleum. Ok, math, economics and environment lesson complete here. Oh, and do not harangue me for giving my kids coffee either. I've seen that spider video and I don't care to be honest with you. Coffee is cheaper and with fewer long term side effects, such as the hereditary liver problems on my maternal side of the family, than any ADD/ADHD medication (caffeine addiction notwithstanding, but that's less heinous than other addictions I assure you). Anyway back to my bloggy morning. As I opened this new container of creamer, I saw it. The proverbial "Idiot Clause" companies have had to resort to including on packaging simply because Darwin's waiting room runneth over with great abundance. Some plumbing fixtures aside, it's generally common sense that "lefty loosey, righty tighty" when opening round things that twist. Apparently there are more stupid people on this earth than I originally thought. The food packagers now have to give their smart customers a chuckle and a blog to read and give their stupid customers directions on how to open the package. Due to poor quality photo taking equipment, small print on the package and bad fluorescent lighting, this picture will not get any clearer. For you reasonably intelligible readers, you pretty much know what it says.

For those who need a translation:
"Twist to Open -->"


Persnickety Ticker said...

Thank you for that asses and elbows trainwreck of an explanation for Trishonomics. My brain hurts.

I am going to go hang out in Darwin's waiting room with the other knuckle dragging, mouth breathing occupants and try to figure out how to unscrew my flip-top creamer bottle.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

Oh Persnickety, you don't drag your knuckles.