Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Toilet paper drivel

This post was inspired by a conversation with my almost 15 year old son. Yes, I realize what you're thinking, but I indeed DO have not one but TWO teenagers, followed by my clone of miniature status. I'll end the post with the funny thing involving toilet paper. For the moment, let me be serious and appreciative. After what is approaching 16 years of knowing each other and being together, my husband....has been putting a spare roll of paper in the bathroom. We have no storage in this house, so the TP must go in the hall closet or risk moisture damage in our water closet. Literally, it's a space that resembles a small walk in closet, and there is plumbing in it. The realization that he's been doing this came to me recently, and it was met with instant appreciation. Why? Well, because he uses most of the toilet paper...ok, so if it's not him then it's the spawn too. In any case, I do use my own share of it, but I have witnessed the shrinking of a roll in a single day's time. I used the loo often enough, but being a girl at birth, I have to use the TP each visit. I don't have time for the drip dry process here and shaking is just unsafe for a clutz like myself, regardless of the spatial dimensions. Likewise, I don't wrap my hand with the paper to create a glove either. I get *enough* to do the task. I know for a fact that my husband will use enough paper to guard his hand from ANY potential contact with even the airspace of his posterior. I've been the one to be met with the after effects of it more than once in my life with him. A few moons ago was one such instance out of many. I do not know what prompted the frequent installation of a spare roll, nor am I going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm just glad that it has taken place. And since I am notorious for getting snarky about my husband...I wanted to just once say something good about him. Of course this is outside the fact that he works hard and loves me to pieces. I know he loves me, few others, if any would put up with me.

Now for that other thing that inspired the blog....my son was bored and called me. I'm good for something- money, entertainment, and torture among other skills. Once again, I demonstrate the purpose for which God placed me on this Earth to do...entertain the masses, usually at my expense. My mother in law got a text message and my son told me about it.

Celebrities walk on the red carpet because they're famous. But you and I walk on toilet paper because we're the sh*t.

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