Tuesday, June 10, 2008

wit and wisdom from my children

I have children that came equipped with a sense of humor unique to each of them. I am thankful they have a sense of humor at all. I'm sure somewhere in the family topiary there is some ancester that was born with no sense of laughter or wit what. so. ever. It happens in every family. I forget almost all of the funny stuff my kids say unless I write it down. This blog post is available for your perusal because I did just that...wrote it down as soon as I was able to stop smirking or laughing.

First we have my younger son, who has a disorder that I have called middlechilditis. He's smart in his own way, but has some wiring issues and I suspect is a tad lysdexic among other things. He has resorted to making jokes and a variety of noises with varying levels of humor and annoyance. Being a student at a public middle school in this city of such upstanding citizens....he's acquired an interesting alternative vocabulary too. Today he said something about "Monkey Fudger"
uh. yea.
I'm not that old, and I think I have that one figured out quite well enough. When I asked him to clarify, I was indeed correct. I presume being reasonably intelligent adults that have nothing better to do than read my blog fodder, you are probably accurate in your own assumptions also.
He also does a nice old lady voice with "kneet wun, purl two" .... and then asked me what that was. So I grabbed some scrap yarn, the closest knitting needles that didn't already have a project on them, and attempted to knit one, purl two for him. I *THINK* it's a rib stitch pattern...for those of you non-knitters (for which I used to be one till a year ago), that means, go look at a store bought sweater. If it has lines in the body of the garment, it's generally a rib stitch. Another example would be your socks. Men's dress socks are a good example. Look at the elastic-y part that holds the sock to the leg. That's a rib stitch of sorts.
Now that we're done with the mini-knitting lesson....we'll move on to my clone.

This one is going to be the reason the schools know my name as well. Her oldest brother helped the schools identify me easily too. The teacher told me she now understands where my daughter gets it...meaning her humor, sarcasm and way with words. I'm just good like that. Spend enough time with me, I start causing people to assimilate into my behaviors. Just don't go being too corruptible because I am not responsible for your actions pal. In any case, a recent day ago, she was stretching or something and a vertabrae popped in her lower back. Very lower back. She turned to me and said "My butt just cracked. Does your butt crack?"

The middlechilditis patient was in the kitchen and tried not to laugh. And failed.

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