I have blog posts - I promise

I have been jotting things down to put in the blog. Here's the thing, I don't get to use MY computer like I want to because someone had to be homeschooled and hogs the machine all day acting like he owns it or something. I can not wait till August 24th, because the kids return to school. I'd do cartwheels that morning, except I have a speedbump and I'd bust my chops. RW WILL return to a brick and mortar building charged with imparting knowledge. I can't handle him being home all the time and it's been old since February.
I will however, finish compiling these blog posts of kid funnies and household "oh-gawd-what-now" moments and get them to you. I'm just busy trying to avoid going over the edge, and probably failing miserably with that task. My sleep pattern is absolutely screwed up too...and the growing a human part of things is not helping me sleep. Having to get up in the middle of the night to waddle to the bathroom, developing a nifty unofficially diagnosed thing with a medical abbreviation of SPD (some sort of pelvic displasia that makes it excruciatingly painful to walk, stand or even move), having to sleep in some strange way propped up by all the bed pillows to alleviate the heartburn while not causing more circulation or hip problems...ugh, I'll just spare you the rest. I'm just very grateful Moose told me about this pressure point for sciatic pain. I've used it extensively since the advice was dispensed.

the lesson? A person just does not realize how important hips are till they go awry and pregnant over 30 is absolutely FOR.THE.BIRDS.

Parental torture

We're different parents from most people. We derive mirth from torturing our teenagers. I knew someone was using my razor because I was getting razor burn more frequently and having to change the blades sooner. I just couldn't PROVE it, nor could I prove who was doing it, without expensive DNA testing. Last week I bought Devildog a new razor, because it was cheaper to get the "gift" kit on the clearance endcap at Target than refill razors. A $4 coupon helped convince me. Prior to my shopping endeavor I asked the boys about their razor preferences, throwing in a comment that I was tired of someone using my razor. RW slung back that he had been using Dad's razor, not mine. I advised Devildog of this, and he said he'd suspected as much, but chuckled, adding "I bet he doesn't realize what else I shave with my razor." Regardless of WHAT parts are shaved, it's just a total biohazard to use someone else's blade. I swear, I thought I covered that detail with them, but apparently it didn't register or they just don't care.

Devildog later told the boys about this aspect of using Dad's razor. Beast laughed and said to RW "Maybe that's why your face has been breaking out so much."

Happy Birthing Day to me

Nope, the Stowaway/Thumper hasn't escaped the oven yet. However the oldest brother has survived to mark 16 years of adventure. He was born at a ridiculously early hour, weighing 7 pounds, 6.4 ounces. The nurse weighed him and turned to ask me where I was hiding him.
I can't wait till he's an adult. I am going to set my alarm for that time in the morning and call him and yell into the phone "it's a boy!" and hang up cackling. Bwahahahaha!!! I'm such an evol mother!

Happy Birthday RW.