Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Whine, Cheese & Gazelles

I am sitting here at the desk typing on the desktop computer instead of the laptop I really really really liked using. I could go so far as to say I loved it. But, I killed it. It wasn't Dead-Dead. But Geek Squad's computer hospital declared it too expensive to repair, given the multiple issues it had, and opted to replace it instead, under the extended protection plan. I have to pick out a new laptop and I'm not liking my options at this point. I'll suck it up eventually and go get a new computer, but it's going to be a few days longer at least before I do. I need to scrape up the money for the extended protection plan. Eventually, I won't need to opt for such "insurance", because I'll have enough money set aside that a new laptop won't even dent the bank.

But first, I have to replace a bent rim on the mom-bus. I managed to hit the side of the storm drain and jacked up my wheel - again. This is the 3rd rim on the bus to get replaced. I'm thankful it's a plain steel rim and not a fancy alloy rim. It's much cheaper that way. But driving on a donut spare is not cool. We don't have insurance for that kind of thing...just have to suck it up and pay for it.

In the meantime, I am listening to Dave Ramsey podcasts on a daily basis, and tasting the koolaid he serves. I really want and need to make big financial changes to be able to live comfortably in my retirement years, and not work longer because I can only afford dog food for my dinner. I want to be able to tick some things off my bucket list without worrying about how I'm going to pay for them, or eat later after I do them. I grew up being taught that you make do with what you have till you can get something better. My husband did too, but somewhere our wiring didn't get run the same way. His mindset is that he works hard for his paycheck and he deserves to reward himself. And he's not incorrect. He's just going about it in a misguided way, at a cost of long term security. And I don't say that to be hurtful or speak ill of him. I say that because that is indeed a fact of what will happen at the current pace things are going. I will add that he has gotten better about how he thinks of money, versus his thinking way back when we were still kids ourselves.

My husband DOES work hard for his paycheck. And he has made some financial errors in his life (I'm not an angel either). But now that our vehicles are paid off, he's making strides towards a better career, and I just paid off my last credit card, I want more. I want his cards paid off. I want more security towards the long term goals. Dave Ramsey calls it "getting gazelle intense". I feel like I'm the gazelle stretching and warming up for the sprint. From my view of the savannah, my husband is still feasting away, with his guard down, while a lion lurks just out of the periphery - subject to pounce at any second. And that scares me on so many levels.

Hopefully I can reach him through love, and not go anywhere near being hurtful. I'm praying for guidance and wisdom in helping him see where my goal lies and see a bigger picture that spans a longer term.

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