Friday, September 9, 2011

You need more than a nose

To the brunette chick driving the dark blue Jeep Liberty on Beach Boulevard:

Dumbass. You were in the RIGHT hand lane for how long before you needed to turn LEFT? Then you decided that you could cut behind the guy on a motorcycle, and then cut me off to get to that left turn lane. Yes, people. far right hand lane, ALL the way across 2 other lanes of traffic to get to the left lane. The light turned red and I rolled down my window to yell at her about cutting too close behind the guy on the motorcycle. He was not on a crotch rocket, he was on a Harley cruiser. It's a TOTALLY different personality of bike, and either way, neither motorcycle can just stop like a car can. She said she "missed him by a nose". Get real you dink, all he had to do was simply ease off the accelerator and you would've been PARKING on him.

I am so sorry your mama didn't teach you to use the common sense God gave a dog, and I hope and pray you aren't the reason someone is seriously injured or becomes a traffic fatality. I imagine you cutting off someone like Devildog driving a Bronco and you get encouraged onto the shoulder or median. Or better yet, a cop catches you doing that stupid crap and you have to go take a motorcycle class as punishment.

I have always been aware of motorcyclists on the road, as I've always known they lack the same type of stability of a vehicle with more than 2 wheels. My attention was mostly on the jackasses on crotch rockets zipping in and out of traffic and being douchbags on the road. I would also leave room behind a motorcycle in front of me, and then get road rage with people who assume I left that space for their ricer to occupy. However, since Devildog bought the neighbor's bike to save $120 a week in gas in the Bronco, I've been even more aware of all of them.

It's appalling to know that so many people in this city are selfish jerks who won't let you get over when you have your signal blinking for half a mile, and then get pissed when you finally can't wait any longer for them to stop being a lane hog and you have to cut them off because everyone behind them is failing to leave enough space to toss a tuna can between them and the next guy. I don't know if it's because I drive a minivan, but I'm going with that theory. If I'm driving the Bronco, I'm given the chance to move over to the next lane. But I have to get evil in the mom-bus. If mini-van drivers are stereotyped as drivers that will cut you off, then perhaps it's because everyone around us assumes that we're driving a hearse and we'll slow them down, so nobody lets the mini-van drivers change lanes. Likewise, not all motorcyclists drive like the unsunny side of a mule either.

And no matter what, EVERY vehicle needs a lot more space than given, so that colliding with any other vehicle is "missed by a nose", when in fact you need to be missing them by a whole vehicle's length.

All of this makes me even more grateful that my merchandising job allows some flexibility. I don't always have to be on the road at peak traffic times. It means I don't have to be in traffic full of selfish, distracted, me-first-forget-what-I-learned-about-taking-turns-in-Kindergarten drivers who fail to see beyond their own dang noses.

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