moving onward and upward

Well it's been a busy couple weeks since my last post. I'm feeling in over my head on a lot of things. I am feeling like a failure on many fronts. I'm not sure what crawled up a few unsunny places but it needs to find its way to the septic tank or sewer lines. I am not naming names, pointing fingers or giving examples. It's multi-faceted and multi-pronged. No one thing is stirring my pot, but sure as the night sky is dark, the devil's making me use my broom. A LOT.

My stinkin' thinkin' is not helping the situation. I've taken to saying "urg" in place of some choice words, or something directed at an individual.

But the bright spots in my days include those times when my oldest isn't being a jerk, and actually being cooperative and reasonable. He's more often surly than not, and has a completely different way of thinking than I have. He's a sweet child, with incredible brains. We're not seeing eye to eye with some of his choices. It's when Beast takes the baby to play with her, just because, or more impressively when I'm at my wits end with her (and she with me). It's when Clone comes up and hugs me, and writes stories with accompanying pictures. It's when she asks to read stories to her little sister, even though her sister can't sit still long enough for me to change her diaper, much less hear a story. It's this little baby who I argued with God that it was perimenopause and that He was not entrusting another child to my care, because look at what we did with the first one - eesh. She's exploring her world, and we're learning to communicate in our own way. Let me just say, she's very vocal - and it's more apt to say that she's training me to recognize her language. She's been pulling up on things, and has occasionally let go for a second before plopping on the floor. More recently, she's using more leg power than arms to get upright. This week, she's making the next move towards cruising. She's occasionally transferring from one place to a place next to it without sitting down first. She's doing well with food - and prefers what WE are eating, not the stuff in jars. She goes nuts trying to get our food. We're working on pincer grasp, waving, drinking from a cup, and answering to her name. She gets baby puffs to snack on, a sippy cup of very diluted juice to learn how to drink from it, and she's doing well with both. Her laugh is infectious, and her smile gives me a 'mommy melt'. My favorite is the squinty-eyed, wide-mouth belly laugh. It's even better if she's kicking her legs. To laugh with full abandon is an awesome gift. I love that she can incite laughter from each of the older 3 kids with her cuteness.

Oldest was going around tonight naming colors in Spanish - a language he dislikes to the point he took German when he was in SC. I was a tad puzzled by this, but we live in Florida, so if he learns multiple languages - go for it. However, Mini-Human was looking at her big brother like "dude what the heck are you doing?" I suspect she's going to perfect this look and use it on her siblings for years to come. It will most likely be well deserved.