Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Better understanding of the outcry

So, a while back I posted about a then-recent hashtag of BlackLivesMatter. At the outset, I didn't understand the root of it. I saw the surface with the disruptions. After having spent time (stretched out over a long duration) observing the numerous points of view, I finally did get it. I still stand behind the comment I made about if black lives matter, then every single black life matters no matter how long the heart beats. But I also have been given stories from friends that shed clearer light on why there is such a loud, heavy, and distraught lamentation from our community of color. I do understand and respect the difference in experiences that others have and I have completely lacked. I lack the articulation needed to impress upon some of my loved ones who still do not comprehend the perspective. I'd be convincing them against their will, and in an effort to keep the relationship with hopes of one day getting them to see a glimpse of perspective, I have to take the mustard seed planting approach. I wish I could just clobber them with a clue-by-four, but relationally speaking, that is going to completely implode. I came to the realizations I did by others planting mustard seeds with me. I have to trust the process and keep planting.

For those of you who may still not grasp the complaint, let me just say this: Just because you personally have not witnessed or experienced something, does not mean that it does not exist. Be quiet and observant long enough to take in what others are trying to say. Listen for the sake of learning and not for the purpose of just hearing and responding. Push pause on your countercomplaints for a while. You can disagree and still be respectful. You can say "I still don't see it, and I still don't understand it" without railing and name calling. All it does is waste valuable energy yelling at those you perceive to be your opposition and nothing gets accomplished but more vitriol and frustration.

Listen, so that you may hear and understand. Response can be paused long enough to absorb the messages.

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